The definition of parenting is “the process of raising children and providing them with protection and care to ensure their healthy development into adulthood.” If you ever worry about being a good parent, you should take comfort in the fact that “parenting” is only about 50 years old. So, give yourself a break.
Parents get ideas from their own parents, education, religion, pediatricians, media, friends, government, and more. Perhaps your parents or grandparents had different approaches to raising children than you are using in bringing up your own children. Information coming from all directions has never made parenting easy. And it continues to get even more complex. None of this is necessarily bad, just different because it reflects the evolving times and values that have changed over the generations.
Much has changed in the history of parenting. And a lot hasn’t changed at all. We can all think of things that you promised to never do or say that your parents did or said to you. But there were also things you couldn’t let go of, that still mean so much to you.
There are certainly parents that have many more years under their belt. But being a parent for over 40 years and a grandparent for over a decade, I have received, but more importantly, experienced quite a bit myself. And I would like to share some tips that have helped me along my parenting journey.

PARENTING TIPS:
● Connect regularly.
Set aside a few minutes every day for your child(ren) so they know it’s all about them. But focus all your attention on them. Ten, uninterrupted minutes a day worked for me.
● Don’t shut down the conversation.
Heightened emotions mean something’s going on. If you just say, ‘Of course you’re going to school, now do your homework,’ you’ve closed the door on finding out what they’re really feeling.
“Instead, open the door saying something like, ‘It sounds like you really don’t like math. Can you tell me about it?’ That helps them feel safe opening up to you.”
● Welcome tears.
“Part of your job as a parent is helping your child manage his or her emotions.” Sometimes we all need to cry. Parents think that when kids cry you should quickly calm them down, but it’s the opposite. Teach them that those big emotions, like hurt and anger, aren’t dangerous. And, yes, even let them have a meltdown in the safety of your arms.
● Take lots of time for laughter.
“Kids need belly laughs.” Set aside time for roughhousing and goofiness. Laughter helps kids feel safe and helps them transition when they must leave you for school, a babysitter or college because they feel connected.
● Help your child learn
self-discipline.
“Self-discipline is giving up something you want for something you want more.” It’s important as a child grows up. If they want to get good at something, they must learn to manage themselves through the hard spots. Encourage them to work through the problem.
There are many lessons. But I will leave you with this: As time evolves and you are watching your children parent their kids, be supportive and accept how they have chosen to parent. Share some of your best practices but be mindful of your reactions to how they receive it. Remember, parenting evolves. And we made it through our parents’ parenting! ■