By Zaida Govan

Mothers are the only persons in the world who risk their lives to bring life into the world and then spend the rest of their lives defending, protecting and nurturing that life. They take risks when they adopt children not knowing who the child will be.
Many times, sadly, mothers get negative feedback from the children they raised. They are told they didn’t do enough; they weren’t good enough or even that they were terrible mothers because of addiction, domestic violence or other things. This is a sad reality, but I am here to tell all mothers, biological or otherwise, that you are real!
As mothers, we do the best we can with what we have. Children don’t come with a How-to Manual on how to raise and nurture them. Thank God, He gave us a nurturing spirit. Thank God, He gave us the strength to endure heartache from the time our children are born. The trials and tribulations mothers go through on a regular basis−even with the most perfect children−are real. We don’t know if when they leave the house to go to school or work, they are going to come back safe and sound. Especially Black and Brown mothers. We don’t know what microaggressions they will have to endure when they are out of our sight. That is heartbreaking for us.
We want to protect our children at all costs and sometimes it costs us a lot. Mothers are the real gangstas!! They will get in front of raging dogs to protect their children as our mother did us when we were walking down Orchard Street in the 70s and a gang of dogs jumped over the fence and came at us. I don’t remember exactly what my mother did, but I remember that none of the four of us were hurt by those dogs. Mothers will defend their children no matter how “misunderstood” the kids are. I don’t use the word “bad” to describe children that misbehave. Mothers know their children and they defend them no matter what.
On this Mother’s Day month, I would encourage all children, biological or otherwise, to protect, defend and nurture your mothers and mother figures. Oh, yes! Mothers also adopt every child in the neighborhood and sometimes they will cook for all their children’s friends whose parents may be working or otherwise busy. Tell every woman you see “thank you” this month even if you don’t know them as a mother or mother figure.
Mothers with the disease of addiction are especially in need of that nurturing and protecting. The disease of addiction prevents mothers from being the best that they can be and they need help to not surrender to the disease and to become the mothers they want to be. Unfortunately, there are not enough resources to help every mother that needs help and that is the biggest sin of all. Let’s advocate for mothers to get the domestic violence resources they need. Trauma can prevent a mother from doing what she wants to do for her children.
However, we must believe that no matter what, all mothers everywhere are doing the best they can with what they have. Love them no matter what. Happy Mother’s Day to all! ■